Bad DF! Bad! *smacks it with a newspaper*

No particular reason for this gif, I just thought it was visually interesting.

Yesterday. Oh my glob, so full of fail.

I got my main’s NIN job to 50+, so I’ve been doing stuff mainly on that class, in particular the roulettes. Yesterday, oh man.

Run #1: In-Progress Qarn NM, 24 minute queue wait. I hopped in to find the crowd not far ahead of me just down the stairs. The Dark Knight tank was tanking weirdly, selecting unimportant spawns to focus on rather than the bees who like to quietly explode upon death and take everyone with them. She was also doing absolutely nothing about aggro, so while she went to town on one, the other melee DPS and I went to town on the important stuff. The healer was new and having difficulty keeping on top of heals, opting for medica II and cure II and running out of MP repeatedly.

First boss, we have to stand on the correct plate to get rid of the Doom debuff, otherwise we die. Tank died from Doom, and the boss went after the healer, who started kiting it around the arena. If she’d stood still, the other DPS and I might have gotten it off of her, but because she wouldn’t stand still, the thing was quite satisfied humping her leg. She died. Eventually the other DPS and I ran out of HP and succumbed as well.

Tank noped out. The other DPS noped out. Then the healer followed. Repopulate the party, or leave? I chose to leave, since there was no penalty and I wasn’t going to subject other people to this dungeon if there was no need for it. Run incomplete.

Run #2: Dzemael Darkhold, 31 minute queue wait. The tank noped out as soon as they saw what dungeon it was. Another tank hopped in after a few minutes, and we did the thing. The SMN DPS with us died on the first boss, and chose to disconnect. We got another DPS just before the second boss, and we did fine. Run complete.

Run #3: Qarn HM. Tank noped out. Run incomplete.

Run #4: Dzemael Darkhold again. The tank and the healer were new but happy to take instructions, we did fine. Run complete.

Run #5: Aurum Vale. We went carefully, the SMN DPS was new and left us before the first boss. We got through it with three people, minus one DPS. Run complete.

Run #6: Guildhest somewhere in the Shroud with the wandering Chanters and the boss guy. We went carefully, though the healer was fussing very hard at the tank and other DPS for clearing the entire thing. “Just DPS down two of the Chanters, leave the archers alone.” She even put do-not-touch symbols on them because the other DPS would not leave them alone. If you can’t handle a level 20-ish, 10 minute quest, then why in the fucking hell do you queue for it? Oh my god. Anyway, run complete after the chat window was completely filled with her bitching.

Run #7: Snowcloak. Clean run, no fussing, no noping.

Run #8: Main Scenario dungeon Praetorium. Both tanks were new and neither wanted to main-tank, and so ensued hilarity with them fighting over aggro and then neither of them using a tank stance, and three DPS who were also new and watching cutscenes. One of the healers kept aggroing the bosses as we came to them, which locked out a couple of the DPS in each boss area. On the final boss room with the big centaur guy, the tank who had pulled and kept snagging aggro from the other tank who was actually trying, died and did not get a res from the healers, who had had enough of his bitching and left him there.

Meanwhile, with as many new people as there were, I hung back to make sure the stragglers all figured out their way in, and gave tips on the final boss like, “We dance around like fools until we see the emote about the Light.” “Okay, NOW we play.” “Lots of ground AOE, just do what you can.” “One DPS might want to focus on the lasers on the sides of the arena, lots of line AOEs and very obvious circles of ack, do what you can.” Because I wanted to get through this train wreck, I made it a point to go whole ham on all bosses, at times getting aggro because the tanks sure as fuck weren’t doing it.

Run complete, and 5 comms for saying the things and shepherding the slow ones. Ninja tank for the win, apparently.

And finally run #10, Haukke Manor, which is usually a really fun one to get. Nope, the tank on this one was a pain in the ass. The other NIN went to town on things that the tank had no interest in getting aggro on, and spammed chat with his Ten Rules of [His Character Name] Tanking, including, “If you pull it, you tank it. If you heal without swiftcast, I’ll get a new healer. If you aggro something, you tank it.”

The run was derpy but manageable, as soon as we hopped into the basement and the newbie healer pulled too much and ran for the tank. The tank grabbed aggro, pulled everything into the basement prison area, a square, and rather than stopping so that we could secure positions and get on with it, he led us on a merry chase for about six laps of the square. I grabbed aggro on one thing and tried to whittle it down, the tank saw, doubled back, grabbed aggro again, and ran off again.

He was being a major ass. We couldn’t kick him out because he (and therefore we) were in combat. My only option was to abandon and get the half hour penalty for him wasting the time of three other people who actually were there to push their buttons and get on with it. I invited anyone to follow me out and reminded them that because it wasn’t a full party of four people, they’d get no penalty like I would.

Run incomplete for douchey tank. Thank the almighty GODS that cross-server blacklist is now a thing. The trash from Midgardsormr can totally stay out of my queues.

After that I stayed out of DF and played with FATEs on my tanks. I have GOT to get those leveled so that other people will get a tank who won’t waste their time. -_-

I’m still missing Asheron’s Call like crazy, and I’m slowly getting used to a reality in which the original/official servers don’t exist. I don’t like that this is a thing, but I don’t have much choice about that. *glares at Warner Brothers* I will never patron that company again, none of their services, none of their products, none of their productions. I’m just one person and my money means nothing, but I’m okay with my choice to boycott.

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