welp, here I am in DF jail

This place literally rocks.

This place literally rocks.

There was a thread on the FFXIV subreddit the other day, asking for people to provide reasons why they would abandon a duty in progress. Personally, I very rarely do, but I’m not above doing so if the group is consistently wiping to various things because either the tank or the healer are not pushing their buttons adequately.

Such was the case this morning. I waited 58 minutes in DPS DF hell for a level 50 dungeon to pop. I hopped into Pharos Sirius NM with a newbie but lvl 60 white mage, mentor (which means nothing but that the individual has played this game too damned much) tank, and a goon who took forever to zone in (slow computer or, very likely, ps3 (upgrade your hardware, ye bum)).

The tank grabbed two sets of trash mobs, I got set up with a quick burst of DoTs and the SMN bubble of doom, and we went at it. Tank died. Healer became stuck in an infinite loop of trying to keep himself healed instead of keeping the goon and me alive (FACEPALM), and because I had used swiftcast for my opener, by the time I got a ress off for the tank, he had recalled to the beginning of the dungeon to run back to the group. The creatures hadn’t dropped aggro and so we wiped again.

It took the healer until the first boss fight to figure out why we were hesitating over and over near him, because he was the only one with the ability to cast protect in here. (FACEPALM x 2) We wiped on the boss because the goon had terrible reaction time (seriously, why are you wasting everyone’s time with a hugely inferior machine?) and the healer was standing in poo and casting medica over and over. I healed myself when I needed it, and otherwise Garuda and I simply carried on. No one dealt with adds, which is pretty much required in here, and while I cast my DoTs as often as I could, because everyone was wailing on the boss, more spawned than I could keep debuffs on. We wiped after tank died and the goon failed a Hail-Mary LB punch. We wiped a second time because healer was not hitting his best healing spell over and over, and ignoring everyone else.

We wiped three more times on trash after that, and on that last recall, I decided I’d had enough. I kept most of my snark in check before noping out, but did type, “You’re in a level 50 dungeon, learn how to push your buttons.” I deleted “GD” before “buttons” before hitting enter and abandoning this ship.

I then spent the next 20 minutes rooting around in the kitchen looking for breakfast noms, and amusing myself with a hilarious rant complete with flailing arms and a monologue. “You’re in a level 50 dungeon level-synced from level 60, and while you cannot use some of your best spells in here, you had spent the first 50 levels learning how to push your buttons. You get Cure I at level 2 and it carries you all the way to level 60 and is often used in end-game battles more than any other. What in the world is wrong with you that you cannot use one single finger to use one single spell over and over? Make a macro if button-mashing doesn’t appeal to you. Better yet, go back to Sastasha NM and start over. Even better, go to the very first guildhest at level 10 and have at it! You can farm comms that way, which is fantastic and saves you from wasting the time of other people trying to get through content that is not that difficult! ONE SPELL, USE IT DUMB ASS!”

*smacks own forehead* Yeegads, teh dumb, it burns.

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